Most of the time when we think of fear, we think of it as a hinderance – something that holds us back or wish we could go away. But, what if fear was really something you could use to grow your business (not to mention who you are as a person)?
Fear is usually the reason we use to stay stuck in a job for too long. Or the excuse we use for why we’re not moving forward with something big. Or why we stay in situations that no longer serve us. We tell ourselves that we need the money and that we can’t do something because we don’t know what to do.
Fear stops us from truly living and going after the things we want in our business.
So what do you do? Fear isn’t going away any time soon. But, how you related to your fear can change. It’s time to turn fear on its head and make it your biggest business asset.
Fear is a Good Thing.
Yes, that’s right – fear gets a bad rap. Fear is actually a good and natural feeling. It’s our brain’s way of making sure that we stay safe and don’t get hurt. Fear keeps us from taking dangerous risks like walking alone in an alley at night or jumping off the ledge of a cliff.
Fear only becomes a negative when it takes over our life and holds us back from going after the things we want and most deserve.
One of the greatest things I learned while I was training to be a life coach is that fear is our brain’s natural form of resistance. It’s like a shield that we put up that we think is going to protect us from pain and difficulty.
The problem though is that it doesn’t work. Rather than shielding us from pain, what fear often does is bind us to the thing we don’t want. It keeps us stuck and paralyzed from moving forward with our business.
Fear limits what you can do and dictates how far you’ll actually go. It works like a wall that we put up. And if we don’t learn how to knock the wall down, it’s going to just get bigger and bigger until the risk seems to high to act.
But, once you learn that fear is simply natural resistance, you can train yourself to notice it and shift your relationship around it.
Clients often tell me they wish fear would go away, but in truth – you want fear around. Fearis a handy reminder that you’re about to take your next evolutionary leap – both personally and in your business.
So, let’s talk about how you can do this –turn fear on its head.
Recognize Fear for What it Is
Fear wears many disguises. It can appear as evidence or facts. You need a job right? You can’t afford to get kicked out of your home? Sure, but if you look at all the things you tell yourself, it’s likely that most of the facts you see are really wrapped up in a story you’ve made around the circumstances.
For example, you tell yourself that you’re not good at something. Sure, you’ve fallen down before, but does that mean you’ll fall in the future? Most of the time, you’ll have a hard time finding absolute proof for anything that you thought once was a fact.
You’ll also want to be aware of finger pointing. If you’re blaming someone else for your inability to do something or complete something, fear might actually be the driving force.
Instead of taking responsibility or making new choices, fear tells us that someone has to be to blame for where we are now.
Recognizing all the sneaky ways fear appears in your life is a giant first step to making fear your biggest asset.
Are Your Fears Valid?
Next, once you’re aware of fear for what it really is, it’s time to question their validity. One of the questions you can ask yourself is “Where’s the proof?”
Is your fear real? Is it absolute? Sure, you need money to live. Sure you need a job. Yes, you want to avoid looking like a failure, but is that what’s really going to happen?
Look at all the what-if statements you tell yourself and demand that fear give you proof that it will happen. Most of the time, fear can’t deliver. It can only tell you what you’ve experienced in the past or seen others go through – but, it can’t tell you what will happen right now or in the future.
Asking yourself whether your fear is valid can help deflate the fear and help you see it from a different angle. By asking yourself these questions, you immediately will feel the tight grip of fear loosen a bit so you can get a little perspective and create an action plan.
Make Fear Your Friend.
If you’ve ever heard me talk before, you know I love this idea. The reality is that fear is never going to go away – so, instead of trying to close the door on fear, it’s time to invite it in.
Making fear your friend means understanding that fear serves a legitimate purpose – it’s here to protect you and keep you from getting hurt or falling down. It’s actually a good thing that we live with a little fear.
Whenever you feel fear grip you and want to run for the hills, I want you to simply remind yourself that fear is your friend.
Fear is here to help you bust through your limits and achieve something new.
Sure doing things that set you up for rejection, pain or failure doesn’t seem fun, but if you know that on the other side of that is growth or an important lesson, fear can simply be a friend who taps you on the shoulder, remindingyou that it’s time to move forward and grow bigger.
Making fear your friend is the next best thing getting rid of fear because once fear knows you accept it, it stops pushing so hard.
What once seemed like a mountain becomes a molehill. Fear when embraced in this way really is your biggest asset. It’s the thing that’s going to propel you forward and grow bigger than your competition. So, I want to encourage you to truly use fear as your biggest asset.
Let’s Embrace Fear Together
This week, I want to help you shift your relationship with fear. Walk yourself through these steps and answer these questions:
- What scares me? What thoughts, actions or beliefs have been masquerading as something else that is really fear?
- How has fear been an asset in my life? In what way has fear helped me?
- What is being scared costing me in my business? In my life?
- In what ways do you make up stories around the fears you believe are facts?
- How can you embrace fear and remind yourself it’s a friend? Do you have a mantra you want to write down? Create post-it note reminders? Having a reminder can be helpful
- Identify one fear you want to tackle. How can you step outside your comfort zone this week?
To support you in moving forward, I want to be available for you. This week, I’m going to be responding to any emails entitled MAKING FEAR MY FRIEND, within 24 hours (and if I’m available, in under 15 minutes). I want to hear what comes up for you and help you get through places that you’re blocked.
So, just click here and send me a note with the subject line: MAKING FEAR MY FRIEND.